Home and Family

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I arrived home from our vacation late Tuesday afternoon.I'm not one for vacations, but this one was special. Our grandson who lives in Ohio was graduating from high school and then this summer he would be heading off to London for some soccer group. He loves soccer.This is the second of our grandchildren to graduate from high school. I would not say this to everybody but, this year is the 50th anniversary of my graduation from high school. I cannot believe it has been that long. I must have fallen asleep for several years without waking up.To see a grandson graduate from high school and then look at my graduation picture 50 years ago I was amazed. How can he be as old as I was? What he does not understand is that one day he will be as old as I am....

Did you ever experience a time when you were right and had the evidence to prove you were right?I know that for me, it does not happen very often. In fact, I cannot think of a time that it really did happen to me. Well, until recently. I want to remember this incident as long as I live.The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage was preparing for our Thanksgiving family get-together. It takes her weeks to get everything prepared; she is so meticulous and will not allow anything to go wrong from her point of view. Everything has to be done just so.Experience has taught me during this time of the year to stay out of the kitchen! That is why I am still living to this very day.However, it does have its advantages. I can relax in my "man cave" and stay out of her way. I know that if I ever get in he...

Vacations mean different things to different people. For me, the vacation means I am vacating one place and going to another place to do nothing.Recently, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and me vacated the parsonage to go to some place where we could major on doing nothing. We have mastered this over the years.My definition of "nothing" is quite different from my wife's definition.My definition is simply that I spend the day doing nothing.My wife's definition is simply that she will spend the day doing nothing but thrift store shopping.At this point, I am not quite sure who has mastered their "nothing." We might be equal at this point. As long as each of our "nothing" activity does not collide with each other.One of the aspects of getting to that "nothing" point is travel. The older...

I do not consider myself lazy. I think of myself as an Energy Conservative. I am saving my energy for sometime down the road when I may need it, and who knows when.This, however, is not the opinion of the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. If there is a lazy bone in her, it has sprouted wings and flown away a long time ago. She works hard, which I do not mind, except she expects me to keep up with her.I enjoy slouching around, busily engaged in doing nothing. I have become an expert in this, which has become more than a hobby with me.Occasionally my wife will say, "What are you doing right now?"To which I answer, "Nothing."Her response is, "I thought so. Could you come and help me now?"I guess everybody has their own definition of "nothing." To be sure, my wife's definition is not the sam...

When it comes to practical jokes, Yours Truly is always on the ready. Throughout my earthly passage, I have perpetuated my share of practical jokes. I will not enumerate them here, the simple reason being, I might want to bring one out of retirement.I must say that most practical jokes are neither practical nor funny. However, I operate on the biblical premise, "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones" (Proverbs 17:22). With the high cost of medicine these days, I will take a merry heart every time. Just call me Dr. Merry Heart, and I will dispense some good medicine to everybody who needs it.Now, the practical joke I am thinking of has to do with New Year's Resolutions. I always look forward to the last week in January for this very reason. For the f...

Looking back over my life I honestly can say, giving it a great deal of thought, the biggest problem I have is when I actually think. Thinking can get me into more trouble than anything else I do.This was no more evident than recently we got a phone call from the bank. I hate it when the bank calls because they never call to wish me happy birthday or wonder how in the world I am doing today. They always have an agenda. Usually, that agenda has to do with my money.When I answered the phone all I could say was, "Here we go again."Much to my relief it was not about my account, but rather it was the bank account of the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. I cannot tell you the smile that slapped itself all over my face when I heard this.Immediately I called my wife to the phone and said, "It's ...

A mystery has developed within the halls of our once peaceful domicile. At first, I did not think too seriously about it. Some things, if left alone usually take care of themselves. Of course, there always are other things, like my socks, that never take care of themselves no matter how hard I wish.A hint of the mystery came my way on Wednesday when the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage went to the freezer for a box of ice cream. According to her, this was supposed to be for our dessert after supper. But, if I have all the facts correct, she went to the freezer and did not find the anticipated box of ice cream.I was preoccupied with the evening news on television when my wife came and stood in the archway with both hands on her hips, staring at me with one of those looks and said, "Where ...

A bluish-white ring surrounded a tiny pin-prick mark on the back of my neighbours leg. The visual evidence of an insect bite. She claims it wasn't painful at the time but when the itch became intolerable she sought out professional care. There wasn't any other notable symptoms at the time but the doctor who treated her said it could have been worse and most probably a poisonous spider bite. Nothing makes me shutter more than the thought of a spider. Unlike my arachnid-phobic counterparts, I am able to tolerate the sight of a web without going into a screaming heart-palpitating frenzy but I still don't like them. What kind of spider leaves an ugly, itchy mark? We don't have poisonous spiders here in Canada - Do we? The visual evidence of my neighbours injury is conclusive, we do have poison...

Remember as a teenager you would probably ask your parent(s) to "borrow" money to go to the mall, movies or purchase something you admired for what seemed like forever. With this request, you probably were greeted with responses like: 'I will give you some of the money, but you must earn the rest' or 'How are you going to pay me back the money you are borrowing". I am not sure why the word borrow was often used but let's be real, how often did you really pay your parents back.The term borrow is a very interesting word. According to dictionary.com, borrow is defined as taking and use (something that belongs to someone else) with the intention of returning it. As a teenager did you really intend to borrow money from your parents or were you saying whatever you thought would increase your cha...

So often adults use the adage "Do as I say - not as I do" and then wonder why their children have problems while growing up and when they become adults. Your bad habits and theirs can continue on for decades and even down to the fourth and fifth generation. It is therefore important to look in the mirror, do a self-inventory and make changes before you create a monstrous situation.Here are some things to consider: 1. Never make promises that you won't or can't fulfill. Often I see disappointment in youngsters who wait by the window for a parent who fails to pick them up or has a birthday "forgotten" by a busy schedule. As adults they may expect their parents to pay for their university tuition, give them the farm or buy them a house "just because". Unfortunately, trust evaporates quickly a...