Few people who are thrust into a marriage as a step-parent realize what they are in for, especially when the children are old enough to understand, and realize that you are not their real-mother or real father. It gets even more complicated on the home front when the incoming spouse also brings kids into the fold. And to top it all off many couples decide to have an additional child or more, that are purely theirs. Imagine the mind of a child or teen when this occurs.
Jealousy, hurt feelings, low self-esteem are just few of the things that occur, which marriage, family, psychologists warn of, and family help groups find all too common. So, what’s the quick solution, after all this is the day and age of the Internet, and you most likely want real answers, really fast, and you want them in less than 28-seconds, about the time to read two-paragraphs or you are going to click out and ditch my article. Okay fine, here is what I suggest, and it is pretty simple;
Treat all the children absolutely equally, and make sure you lead by example as you instruct them to do the same with the other members from the other side of things coming into the family as one unit. Makes sense right, and perhaps this was why the Brady Bunch TV series was so successful, as the family dynamics are really intense, which can challenge the best of folks.
Easier Said Than Done!
Yes, of course, this is true. But nothing good in life is ever easy. This is something you will have to work on, and it takes time to get everyone on the same page, it cannot be rushed, nor can you assume that all the work is done just because you go through times with no conflict, emotional issues, or temper tantrums. Occasionally, you will find a child yell; “You are not my [real] mother [or father]!”
You should expect this, but you should also counter with; “I know that, I can never be your real father [or mother], but right now consider me your coach, and my job is to help you become the best that you can be, that’s all I want.”
Well, I hope you’ve learned some new strategies and considerations today, and I wish you all the best, and do not envy walking in your shoes. Best of Luck and Continued Success!